I was deeply moved by this conversation with today’s guest, Mike Domitrz. You’ll completely understand why when you watch the video. Dedicating your life’s mission to overcome your own personal challenges is already an admirable gesture. Then, to meet someone who has put everything on the line to improve society’s approach to healthy dating and offer support to sexual assault survivors after his sister’s rape… that just boggles my mind. I appreciated this conversation with Mike. He taught us how to fully commit to the one job we have today until we become so good at it people can’t take their eyes off us.
Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)
Share Some Shut Up Love –> We teach you to ask. It’s about talking, knowing where everyone is coming from, and respecting all perspectives. @datesafeproject (click to tweet)
- Mike is the Founder of The Date Safe Project, an initiative improving society’s approach to healthy dating and offering support to sexual assault survivors.
- Mike has dedicated his life’s mission to leave a positive impact on the many issues surrounding sexual assault and healthy intimacy while he was in college and learned his sister had been raped.
- Mike started a “one person show” using a powerful tool, humor, to open people’s minds and show the devastation and trauma caused by sexual assault. The name of Mike’s program became “Can I Kiss You?” and has gone onto to be presented in schools, universities, communities, military installations, and at conferences throughout the world.
- Mike is a member of National Speakers Association and highly sought after youth speaker giving talks all over the world.
- He is an award-winning author and publisher of May I Kiss You? and Voices of Courage.
Defining Shut Up Moment:
ON FINDING HIS LIFE’S MISSION: I am a brother of a survivor. My sister was sexually assaulted in 1989. We were mandated to hear a speaker on sexual assault. So I went to the gymnasium that day and listened to him. I thought “Hey, he’s talking about this. I could talk about this.” I was a pissed off brother at the time. I went from honor student to probation. I thought this is a way I could have a voice. So I went to him that same day and asked him, “If somebody wanted to do this, what would it take?” Joseph Weinberg was the national speaker. He said, “You come to my place, I’ll give you anything you want.” Lucky for me he only lived one hour away. That was the turning point for me.
ON OVERCOMING FEAR OF NOT MAKING IT AS A YOUTH SPEAKER: Anger was so prevalent in my life. My sister had been raped and I didn’t know how to deal with it. When I think of sexual assault, I focus on the dating world. When I started speaking, it was 1991. Who was gong to ridicule me? The fear became, could I be effective? Could I get into schools? I’m only 20 years old, who’s going to hear me and give me a shot? A teacher told me, “Schools need this,” and that’s what helped me overcome my initial fear of speaking. After having a full-time speaking career, I couldn’t afford to take care of my family so I stepped away from my mission for several years. The fear came back again when I sold a successful DJ business in two weeks with very little cash flow to support us and I decided to return to my mission and get back into youth speaking.
Shut Up Tips:
We didn’t really understand how scary this would become. We did whatever we had to do to finance this and survive. Credit cards. We had a newspaper route. You do what you gotta do when you have a life mission you’re working on. – Mike Domitrz
There was no question I knew this was where I belong and I started researching what was out there. Hearing the industry tell us, “Yes we are looking for this,” gave me that confidence boost to take the risk. – Mike Domitrz
I worked in commercial cleaning, was a high school coach, and DJ. What I found out was I revealed “how to” for people and helped them make discoveries of what they’re capable of so they can get there. – Mike Domitrz
Desperation is the greatest motivation. I love the feeling of desperation to make me succeed. If everything is on the line, I do whatever it takes to get there. This is your one shot, you’ve got to put it on the line. – Mike Domitrz
The vision is what will make you succeed, not the desperation because that could sink you. – Mike Domitrz
A lot of people who become entrepreneurial also become divorced. What your partner doesn’t know they can only get worried about. If they’re already freaking out about what you’re doing, why not let them in? It might lessen the freak out. – Mike Domitrz
We teach people how to ask. It’s all about talking, knowing where everyone is coming from and respecting everyone’s perspectives. – Mike Domitrz
If you’re going to fear people’s responses, I might challenge you to ask yourself how much you really want to do this. – Mike Domitrz
I don’t view being an entrepreneur as a risk. I believe in my head we’re going to succeed and I know somehow it will work. – Mike Domitrz
If you say you want to make a million dollars and you’re nowhere near making a million dollars, you probably haven’t made it your priority. Don’t say you want to do it but you won’t work weekends. – Mike Domitrz
We fear not making money. We’re so focused on it that we’re afraid to risk more of it to invest in our mission. – Mike Domitrz
It doesn’t stop once you start being successful. There will be new things you’re gonna want to make time for and you’re going to have to take new risks to make that happen. – Mike Domitrz
Check it out, Date Safe Project is launching a licensing program for trainers.
Photo credit: Andersen Air Force Base