Afraid of Success and Leaving People Behind – Episode 69

I don’t want my friends and family to think I’m too good for them… how do I improve my life or become successful without leaving them behind? That’s a question I’ve often covered in coaching, but not one Phil and I have openly discussed on our show.  In today’s backstage episode, we talk about how this question shows up in our own personal lives and how to shift your mindset from a “leaving people behind” mentality when you’re afraid of success or fear the unknown.


Watch the show (uncensored & unedited) 

Share Some Shut Up Love –> Not choosing is a choice to give up responsibility. – @PhilGerb on @_TheShutUpShow #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Shut Up Tips:

Words are words, but words are the only thing that have meaning in the world. – Phil

We all have a natural fear of abandonment. – Phil

Your success is about you, it’s not about anyone else. – Phil

Get ready for the ride. You probably will piss some people off. You probably will leave some people behind. – Berni

We need to remember, the more happy and satisfied and loved we are, the more we have to give. – Phil

Initially people might be left behind. If people see you have more happiness and joy and they want more of that, they’ll come back. – Phil

“What people think of you is none of your business.” – Pam Thomas (via Phil)

You don’t have to have a reason, just pick. – Phil

Some people may choose to be left behind. But it’s their choice. – Phil

If somebody else chooses for us, we don’t have to be responsible for the outcome. Not choosing is a choice to give up responsibility. – Phil

Worst case scenario is I suck, I fail. Can I come up from that? I don’t know yet, we’ll see. Best case scenario is I succeed, holy crap, that’s a lot of responsibility. I still don’t know if I’m good enough, we’ll see. – Berni

Choose your suffering. If you suck, you’ll need to get better. If you’re awesome, you’re going to have to keep doing that. – Phil

Energy management matters most, more than time. – Phil

Even the best planning may not be enough. So focus on what you have now, work your butt off to make it as great and as solid as you can, and be okay with what happens or make a new decision. – Phil

You’ve got to keep applying the tools even when you don’t see immediate results in order to build the muscle. – Berni

We’ve got to practice asking for what we want, give ourselves permission to go for what we want, and let go of the outcome. – Berni

It’s okay to choose not to climb the ladder. It’s okay to define success on your terms. It is not okay to not make a choice and bitch about the outcome. – Phil

Keep persisting. Keep making new choices. Be okay it’s not exactly what you envisioned. – Phil

Just because you lose something doesn’t mean you can’t gain something new. – Berni

“It’s not about making the best decision, but making the decision we have the best.” – Charlie Tremendous Jones (via Phil)

Berni & Phil Recommend:

  • You’re gonna lose people on your way to success and failure.
  • Shift your own mind, you have the choice over your self, no one else.
  • What everybody else thinks of you is none of your damn business.
  • Choose your suffering. Sometimes things suck. So what? Do it anyway or make a new choice. 

What Say You, #ShutUpShow Community?

Comment below with your favorite piece of advice about how to handle the “fear of success” or “fear of unknown”?


Photo credit: katerha