Kicking Fear in the Shins with Berni Xiong – Episode 99

March 17, 2014

This is the most awkward write up because I just edited my own episode as we round out the final batch of interviews since launching The SHUT UP Show 11 months and nearly 100 episodes ago. In this episode, we talk about how I gave birth to the first draft of the book I’ve been meaning to write since 2011 in just under 17 hours on a single Saturday in January. At the end of the episode, I share what I’m afraid of right now as it relates to the next season of The SHUT UP Show.

[I’m going to apologize in advance for the sniffing in the audio. I was a little under the weather when we recorded this episode.]

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)

Listen to the podcast

Share Some Shut Up Love –> You are good enough. Give yourself permission to speak, love and be loved. – @BerniXiong #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

  • Berni is a coach and strategy consultant for small business owners and solopreneurs.
  • Berni has made hundreds of appearances across U.S. and Canada sparking entrepreneurs, educators, business leaders, students, and women to defy the odds and make a dent in their corner of the world.
  • Together with 29 other Good Misfits, she helped raise awareness and funds to build a windmill that will provide a sustainable water supply for the entire Kenyan village of Gambella.
  • She founded and launched a philanthropic project called letters to he featuring brave voices writing for the silenced after being personally impacted by this silent form of abuse, to benefit Parental Alienation Awareness Organization.
  • She is the author of book, The Year of the Brave Bear: Speak Up. Stand Out. Change Your World.

Defining Shut Up Moment:

One month ago I wrote the very first draft of the book I’ve been meaning to write since 2011 in under 17 hours. I’ve been writing since I was about 14 so writing is not new to me. However, I did not feel worthy enough to author the book that chose me as its muse until just one month ago. The book is a one-year memoir of my life and journey in 2013, which is one of the years I struggled the most mentally, emotionally and physically.

For the entire year of 2013, I was processing what happened to me in October 2012 when I first experienced parental alienation. Instead of focusing on destructive thoughts and inner chatter, I decided to do something constructive and give love to birth the show and now this book. The book is about believing in yourself. It’s about having love, faith and hope to get through the fear and pain. Because those who are hurting us are hurting too. The book was my therapeutic solution to help heal me and, in the process, I hope it helps heal others to realize “You are good enough. Give yourself permission to speak, love and be loved.”

Shut Up Tips:

We came together at the right time to support each other for what we needed at that moment. – Berni Xiong

If it wasn’t for The Shut Up Show, it would have taken longer for me to heal from parental alienation. – Berni Xiong

When I started channeling the fear into something productive, I was able to pull myself out of the darkness and confront it head on. – Berni Xiong

We are all hurting so how can we be a part of the solution instead of perpetuating the problem? – Berni Xiong

We are not alone and if we’re not alone then others need to see they’re not alone either. – Berni Xiong

The community is asking for more help and support. Sometimes I fear I don’t have the time, money, know-how or capacity to deliver. – Berni Xiong

Anything is possible but you have to find the right resources to help you. – Berni Xiong

You give give give but sometimes you’re afraid to ask for help because you believe you’re not worthy. – Berni Xiong

Who cares if it sounds like a stupid idea, throw it out there and see what sticks. – Berni Xiong

It takes a village to do some amazing shit in the world. Find great company to do it with. – Berni Xiong

Berni Recommends:

If you’re tired of chasing someone else’s dream and you want to make a dent in your corner of the world, sign up for weekly shin kicking to help you brave through your fears and light a fire underneath your ass. It’s like our coffee date minus the coffee, fluff and awkward silence. Pants are optional.

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