Today, Phil and I are joined by Sally Hope, a Renegade Life Coach and former rock star who I was recently introduced to by my good friend Jason Mueller.
I’ll digress for a few seconds here to say that Jason has an amazing intuitive sense about his connection-making. Jason is also responsible for making me aware of another amazing former guest, Amy Clover, who I now consider my sista-from-anotha-mista. So I must apologize in writing here because I thanked the wrong person for the introduction. I’m so used to mentioning Srini in our show so this one’s a freebie for him (Srini, you still owe us $5 kagillion for the mentions). Thanks Jason,you hit a home run with Sally!
Sally is one helluva woman doing some amazing work to help us dream big, break through our fears, and decide for ourselves what kind of life we want to have. If you’re a wildheart, you’ll especially love this episode:
Share Some Shut Up Love –> I almost didn’t get into the RV but deep down I felt I had to. I was in this place of “Fuck it, why not?” @sallyhopesays #shutupshow (click to tweet)
- Sally was a bass player for the rock n’ roll band, Poets & Pornstars.
- One of Sally’s first shows in her rock band was opening up for Blondie.
- Sally and her friends bought an RV and traveled across the country writing about their journey at “Girls Gone Moto.”
- Sally is now a renegade life coach responsible for instigating the wildheart revolution.
- Sally loves riding her motorcycle, country dancing, bourbon and Joan Jett, among other kick ass things.
Defining Shut Up Moment:
FROM ROCK STAR TO LIFE COACH:
One of the most defining moments was I used to be in a rock band. I was never really good. I happened to join this band. One of my first shows we were opening up for was Blondie. I was in this band and we had a label come to one of our shows and they pulled our singer aside and said “Your band is great but your bass player, she has to go. She’s not that good. She doesn’t look that great.” I felt awful. I thought to myself how am I going to get on the stage again? I had a decision to make. I could have given up music or stood up and gotten better. I started taking music lessons. I started going to the gym. At that moment, I realized I was in control of my life. I went on to play for many, many years in the band and do some really cool things.
When I look back, it was a really natural progression moving from music to coaching even though it didn’t look like it while I was in it. I never set out to be a rock star. It just happened. I sometimes thought “What am I doing here in this profession?” when deep down I’ve always had this deep need and desire to help people have better lives. It occurred to me, my favorite part of the band was after the show when the little girls would come up to me and ask me how I have the confidence to be up on the stage. I even made a website for these girls helping them to build their confidence. Somehow seeing me live my dreams helped them to do it, too. My friend, Tommy Lee told me I’d be good at being a life coach. He had a coach in the music industry for a long time. After talking to his life coach, I quit the band. I moved to L.A., went to coaching school and 4 years later here I am.
FROM CALIFORNIA TO MONTANA:
Leaving the music industry was hugely terrifying. I often worried about, “Who am I if I’m not doing this thing that’s really cool?” I mean I’m in a rock band. That’s’ the coolest thing you can tell anybody. Around that time, I was also getting out of a relationship that was on track to turn into something more. We had a house, dog and everything. I realized I had to start living my own life. Everything had always been about doing it for him and doing things together. When it didn’t work out, I started my own business. I moved out of Oakland. I left the country and went to Costa Rica. I moved back and got an RV with a friend without a major plan. We traveled across the country and eventually wrote about our experience calling our project “Girls Gone Moto.”
I was so scared. I cried for weeks. I almost didn’t get in the RV. I had this feeling deep down that I had to do it. I was in this place of “Fuck it, why not?” It was bigger than me. I knew it was a bigger mission. I cried a lot. I wrote about it. I talked to people about it. I have a large community online and in person and that helped a lot during those times.
Shut Up Tips:
I don’t think there’s such a thing as being fearless or without fear. – Sally
People hire you because you’re you, because they identify with you and who you are. – Sally
When someone tells you “Hey, you suck. You need to change.” Sometimes we need to ignore them. But sometimes we need to listen to them. – Phil
When the feedback resonates and really gets at who you are and something you’re fearful about. That somebody is gonna find out you can be better than this but choose not to be. When they take shots at you, it’s not about being liked. It’s about being better. – Sally
One day at a time. One step at a time. One tear at a time. – Phil
The things that keep me up at night are fear of being alone. I’m single and I struggle. I fear being alone and not reaching what I see for myself. That unknown territory of am I ever gonna get there like there’s even a “there” to get. – Sally
The support I use and that I like to teach is to understand the point of life is not about getting things we don’t have. Enjoy what we do have. Be around people we feel inspired by and love. And sharing our vulnerabilities and truth. – Sally
I’m afraid of not creating what I want to create in the world. – Sally
The ripple effect of the work we do is going to continue long after we’re all gone from this world. – Berni
Fear is a misunderstood thing in our life. There’s a lot of talk about how to get rid of fear or be fearless. Instead I think about: How do I live with my fear? How do I still pack my bag in the morning given I want to crumble on the floor and disappear because I’m so paralyzed by fear? Let’s get on the fear train and still be awesome happy people. – Sally
Don’t let fear drive us where it wants to go but instead use it as fuel that propels us forward. – Phil
Sally is most active with her community on her Facebook page.
You can join the Wildheart Revolution, which is an alternative to 1-on-1 coaching for dynamic smart, wild hearts doing awesome things.
Sally’s web site is SallyHope.com