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How to Be Whole-Assed & Awesome at Online Business Like Paul Jarvis – Episode 23

August 19, 2013 By Berni

If you’re Srini of BlogcastFM, we owe ya 5 bucks (how ’bout a hard beverage next time we see you?) for helping us book this guest in record time. For everyone else, this episode packs thousands of more value than that after you hear what Paul Jarvis shared with Phil and me in our chat.

A few days ago I tweeted Paul “I want to punch you in the gut, you’re so awesome” because I recently stumbled upon a new song by his band (written with and sung by his lovely wife) that completely blew me away after I’ve already been a loyal subscriber of his entire catalog. After you watch this episode, you’ll share similar endearing sentiments because he is just that awesome at helping you understand how to be a “whole-assed” kind of person and also a great guy.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)Listen to the podcast

Share Some Shut Up Love –> You’ve got to push sometimes. You can’t know the outcome of things. You can’t let the outcome guide the process. @pjrvs #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

Paul has run a successful business for 15 years providing strategy, design and website development for Fortune 500 companies, best-selling authors and the world’s biggest entrepreneurs.
Paul has collaborated with Danielle LaPorte, Marie Forleo, Kris Carr, Dyana Valentine, Justine Musk, Alexandra Franzen and lots of other bad-asses.
Paul and his wife Lisa are the master minds and artists behind Mojave, a Canadian acoustic and folk band with a deep commitment to the environment.
Paul is the author of Be Awesome at Online Business (I own it and it’s pretty awesome to say the least) and Eat Awesome.

Defining SHUT UP Moment:

I’m afraid of everything. I deal with fear because I would be curled up in the corner if I didn’t. Being afraid and doing things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. You can still be afraid and do shit. I play music as well. I’ve done a gazillion shows. Yet, I still feel afraid before I go on stage. The fear doesn’t go away because you do things more or because you’re successful.

You just learn how to deal with fear better. Fear is universal, but moving past it can also be universal. Be afraid and acknowledge “Fuck, I’m afraid and I’m gonna do it anyways.” Fear has the power you let it have over you.

SHUT UP Tips:

So many people say “I’ll do this when I have that.” – Phil

I do as I say I’m going to do. Consistently deliver as promise. I’m not going to be the jack of all trades I’m going to be a master of that thing I want to be so good at. – Berni

The only differentiating factor I’ve had in 15 years is that I deliver. If you hire me to do a project, I do it. I give it to you and I launch it. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of people in design and every industry that over promise and under deliver. I under promise and over deliver. – Paul

We live in a society where we take a 10-hour course one day and the next day offer Skype sessions for $200 on our website. Pay your fuckin’ dues. I think people need to put in the time to learn their craft and create value for the audience they want to serve. – Paul

Like with any entrepreneur when you don’t have money you or experience, but you have time, you go learn. You get really resourceful and you figure it out. – Berni

I’d hate to be afraid of something and not do it. Then, later be like shit, I should’ve done that. It’s too bad I was a fraidy-cat. – Paul

Fear of regret or missing out, that’s a big thing. I’ve seen folks get so locked up in that… they don’t do anything rather than experiencing what they can or moving forward in it. – Phil

If I’m afraid people aren’t going to like my book, it constipates my writing. The more present you are, the more easy it is to move past fear. – Paul

Don’t constpitate. Put it out there and let it drip a little bit. It’s about the process and being on the journey. – Phil

Paul Recommends:

Paul’s post mentioned: “Push Fear”

Quotes James Victore’s talk on fear and creativity: What do you want your tombstone to say? “Here lies so-and-so: Paid his rent.”

Stay tuned for Paul’s upcoming book tentatively titled Everything I Know. It’s about creativity, fear and choosing your own path to adventure in the work that you do.

Find Paul:

Best way to see what Paul is up to: Tweet to @pjrvs on the Twitters

Matthew Kimberley Helps Us Get a Grip & More Clients – Episode 22

August 14, 2013 By Berni

Back in 2011, I downloaded a free report from some marketing coaching guy man whose writing made my brain hurt and face blush at the same time. In a “Wow that’s some good shit” kind of way, of course. After two years of following his work and incorporating his success secrets for making meaningful connections, I thought I’d pull a Matthew Kimberley by asking the man himself to join Phil and me here on The Shut Up Show. As you can see, his stuff works.

If you’re struggling to get more clients, you definitely want to check out this episode as our sexy friend Matthew Kimberley indulges us with some juicy shut up tips and real tactical advice you can begin using immediately to up your relationship-building game.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)Listen to the show (coming soon)

Share Some Shut Up Love –> I always ask myself “What’s the worst that can happen and can I live with it?” @mjkimberley #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

Matthew is a terrible cook, but an adequate lover… apparently so because he and his wife just introduced their second baby boy into the world in August 2013 – Congratulate him!
Matthew works closely with Michael Port as the Head of the Book Yourself Solid School of Coach Training
Matthew is the author of How To Get A Grip
Matthew lives on a beautiful, tiny Mediterranean island called Malta

Defining Shut Up Moment:

I went back to Brussels to sell staffing services in the corporate environment, which is different than what I was used to in my previous direct sales experience. 9 to 5 became 8 to 8. So I got an investor and set up my own staffing company. It went well.

However, the more it got successful, the more physically sick I got. Something wasn’t right. I was the boss and I was hitting snooze on the alarm clock every morning. It wasn’t me. I had no idea what I was really talking about and I had this terrible feeling I was going to get found out. I had invested everything… my entire brand was about recruitment. After my son was born, I used that as an excuse to do what I should have done before he was born.

I parted ways with my business partner and the company was handed over to people who ran it properly. I ended up doing the work I was meant to do. In fact, today my wife asked me “Do you enjoy your job?” I have to pinch myself on a daily basis that people would actually allow me to make a living to do this kind of work.

Shut Up Tips:

I’m just gonna try. I’m gonna stick up my shingle. If it doesn’t work out, what could happen? I could get a job in a bank, get a job pumping gas, work behind a bar–which is work I love to do–so that kinda eliminates the fear. If you know you’re employable, even if it’s cash on a casual basis, then it should eliminate any fear about paying rent or mortgage as long as you live within your means. – Matthew

Keep your friends very close because if you do the dishes and you mean it when you say thank you then you’ll never be stuck with finding somewhere to lay your head for the night. – Matthew

A lot of entrepreneurs and small business owners struggle because they get all this advice but it’s so massive they think they can’t possibly do it all. – Phil

Burn the bridges, keep your safety net. – Matthew

Matthew Recommends:

1. Contactually.com/bys – The App That Builds your Network and Gets You Booked Solid

2. On a piece of paper, in Word, or in Excel, create a list of people who are good for your business or life (90 people is a good number).

CONNECT with the top 3 people on the list each day of the month.
SHARE your intangibles (network, knowledge, or compassion).
MOVE those 3 people to the bottom of the list after you’ve engaged and shared.
FOLLOW the same process every day for the whole month.

3. To get the free report that changed Berni’s life, go here: “5 Things You Need To Do Every Morning To Get More Clients In 60 Days”

Find Matthew:

Check out Matthew’s website and subscribe to the newsletter

Get Matthew’s book: How to Get a Grip (or “War Finally The Ass High” in the German-translated version)

Email Matthew: matthew AT matthewkimberley DOT com (he actually answers you personally!)

Dominating Your World & Making the Best of the Decision You Have – Episode 14

July 11, 2013 By Berni

Imagine how different your life would be if you never took action. If you never chose yourself. Things would be very different, for better or worse. But in the process, you might not have ever stumbled upon this blog. If Phil and I didn’t choose ourselves to start this show, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.

Watch and listen as Phil takes us through the shut up moments he experienced this past weekend after he attended the World Domination Summit in Portland, for the first time, where his life and business has been changed forever.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)

Listen to the show (coming soon)

Share Some Shut Up Love –> We have to fix shit in our life before we can fix shit in our business. Until the two converge, we struggle. @philgerb

Fun Facts:

World Domination Summit 2013 had 3000 attendees, which is 10 times the size it started with in 2011.
WDS was sold out in 7 minutes. Phil did not have a ticket to attend the conference until months later after snagging a spot from a person in Berni’s network who couldn’t attend and had to sell her tickets.
Before attending WDS, Phil had never taken a vacation before.
Amy Clover, a former guest and good friend, stood on stage to address an audience she once sat in to talk about the epic movement she started after attending WDS last year.

Defining Shut Up Moment:

Donald Miller was the last keynote speaker at WDS. He talked about imagining three circles. The inner circle is Self. The next circle is Shame. Your Personality is the crust that prevents people from getting at your self. My big take away is really thinking what I’m shameful about. What if I’m not the identity I’m projecting. What if these yellow glasses are a really mask preventing me from being seen. And instead of giving me sight, they’re a mask that prevent others from seeing in. – Phil

Shut Up Tips:

Receiving is the act of embracing someone else’s gift. Who the hell do I think I am that I should deny someone the joy of giving me their gift? What kind of arrogant ass do I think I am? -Phil

Sometimes we get gummed up in the big picture of changing the world. You’re not gonna change the whole world. You’re gonna change your world. -Phil

The genesis of this show was that we as solopreneurs needed a platform like this, which we didn’t feel existed. So we chose ourselves and built it. – Berni

Imagine if we never chose ourselves, we never took action, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. That’s why for me I decide to choose myself every day. – Berni

When I’m gripped with fear and have a dilemma, I just choose. I don’t let destiny or fate pick me. I make a choice and I move in the direction I want to because I want to have control over what path I want to be on that will lead me along my journey. If the journey twists and turns, that’s totally cool, but I have a choice to get back on the path if I veer off. – Berni

We have to release the outcome and just enjoy the journey. Enjoy taking the wrong step. – Phil

When we talk about success, we’re not talking about money or time. We are talking about being able to do more of what you love. The freedom to choose what you want to do every day. That’s success. – Phil

Phil Recommends:

Mitch Joel, the author of CTRL ALT Delete, recently wrote a post about taking your life back without unplugging from technology.

Donald Miller, the author of Blue Like Jazz and Storyline, talks about how to take the next step.

Find WDS:

World Domination Summit website.

Join the WDS conversation on Twitter at #wds2013.

Photo credit: brittreints

James Altucher Takes Us From Broke to Choosing Yourself – Episode 13

July 2, 2013 By Berni

I first learned about James Altucher nearly half a year ago in an interview he did with Srini on BlogcastFM. Shortly after, I heard him interview with my cousin Chris Brogan. Then, again on another podcast. At the time, I had only been a loyal listener of three podcasts. “What are the odds?” I thought to myself. Let’s just say if I wasn’t already crazy about James, I could respect the fact that he knew how to show up everywhere and, while he was there, he definitely disrupted your thinking.

I knew I eventually wanted to interview James for The Shut Up Show because I find him to be one of the most prolific thought leaders of our time. But I put that idea in my back pocket and didn’t mention anything to Phil because our show was still brand-spanking new. About a week later, Phil nonchalantly texted me with the news that James Altucher had agreed to be on our show. Was I in a little disbelief? Hell yeah. For one, I didn’t know Phil knew of James. Secondly, our show was still in its infancy. This guy is crazy busy and he said yes to us?

The shock wore off after recalling something I read in the first chapter of James’ new book Choose Yourself. He said that everything had changed for him when he realized no one was going to help him succeed and, if he was going to thrive, he’d have to choose himself because the stakes were too high not to. As he later reveals in this episode, “I wouldn’t have said yes to hanging out if i didn’t think I would have fun.” This is yet another inspiring interview and Phil and I feel so blessed we got to be behind the microphone with James this time around. Watch and listen as we discuss massive failures and the genesis of Choosing Yourself.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)

Listen to the podcast

Share Some Shut Up Love –> If you don’t come up with ideas every day, after 2 weeks your idea muscle will atrophy. @jaltucher via @_theshutupshow

Fun Facts:

After graduating, James landed his first job in the IT department at HBO.
James co-founded over 20 companies since the early 1990s.
James has gone broke more than once, losing millions every time.
James has published 11 books.
Jame is a frequent contributing writer for Techcrunch, The Huffington Post and Financial Times to name a few.
James uses a waiter pad to write up at least 10 ideas a day.
James self-published a book he titled Choose Yourself, which hit number one on Wall Street Journal’s bestseller list [at the time of the recording] beating out every publisher that would have rejected him.

Defining Shut Up Moment:

I used to think that if I was successful, I would feel fulfilled. I wouldn’t feel empty anymore. I’m finished. It’s done. I would then stop doing everything that helped me to improve and be successful. Then, the universe would slap me down and I would lose everything. This would happen again and again. I’d find myself on the floor broke again asking, “Did I not learn anything?” It was always very painful. I realized, then, what I had to do was continue to keep the daily practice. You have to keep the water in the well to never fully experience the emptiness because you never stop being afraid. – James Altucher

Shut Up Tips:

I started hanging out around positive people and became grateful for abundance every day whether or not I saw it. Every time I didn’t follow this, I would fail and go broke again. – James

Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually I focus on being healthy every day. I try not to focus on anyone else around me and that’s what has helped. Doing so has directly related to financial success for me. – James

You always want to be preaching to the choir. – James

I never believe I have to do things. – James

A goal or purpose implies this mystical “there” where I have to be. I’m here right now. I focus on where I am now and how I can be best for myself right now. – James

I’ve made most money in life not on any business or investments. I think for most successful people it would be odd if they actually told you where they had most of their financial success. It would be things that were totally unexpected. – James

We’re all capable of coming up with great ideas to change the world, but the most important thing is to change yourself. – James

I singlehandedly saved the global economy because my chocolates helped NYSE traders take more risks. It’s not bragging if it’s true. – James

Being anxious about finding your purpose has never worked for anybody. No one person has ever found one purpose and died with that one purpose. – James

People are afraid of things that are external to them from global warming or war to going broke or your health not being good. My advice is always the same. Build your foundation. You can’t build a house until the foundation is built first. – James

A beacon guides ships on a cloudy night safely to its shores. The beacon has no idea what ships it’s helping. Its only job is to make sure the light turns on and the windows are clean so the light shines freely. That’s really the way you get through fear. You build the beacon inside yourself because then you’re the first person you’re helping and then the beacon shines out to everybody else. – James

James Recommends:

James holds a weekly Q&A session on twitter every Thursday from 3:30pm to 4:30pm Eastern Time.

James will pay you back if you buy his new book Choose Yourself.

Find James:

JamesAltucher.com – The Altucher Confidential blog

Tweet with James

AJ Leon Helps Us Define Our Moments So They Don’t Define Us – Episode 10

June 14, 2013 By Berni

How do you go from being an insanely successful financial executive in Manhattan, with a six-figure salary and corner office, to quitting your job four days before your wedding because the thought of becoming that guy for the rest of your life scares the crap out of you? AJ Leon, the emperor of awesomesauce and king of misfits, took time out of his uber busy schedule to chat with Phil and me about how that was his narrative in 2007. Over five years later, it is no more.

In this episode, AJ vulnerably takes us through his shut up moments. What led him to decide to take that audacious leap of faith without losing the love of his life and, most importantly, why he believed the view sleeping underneath The Brooklyn Bridge would look far more remarkable than the path he was on. It’s people like AJ that make the kind of work Phil and I do possible. We love AJ and know you will too.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited) Listen to the podcast

Share Some Shut Up Love –> Most people would say connection is not scalable. I think the most beautiful things in life are not scalable. @ajleon via @_theshutupshow

Fun Facts:

AJ runs the coolest company on the planet with a team that’s “got his back.” Laverne and Shirley literally understand this.
AJ is the Chief Maker of Trouble at Misfit, Inc., a nomadic creative shop that specializes in changing the world.
His first company was a professional Shakespearean theatre company producing performances that were termed as “street Shakespeare.”
AJ majored in accounting, finance, and religious studies (yeah, because that was an obvious cluster of choices).
AJ is an artist, designer, writer, entrepreneur and humanitarian running a company from The Pegasus and his backpack.
AJ publishes a quarterly magazine that features artistic carriers of the Misfit flame all over the globe.

Defining Shut Up Moment:

AJ said it better than I could have ever put into other words:

When I left my job, it was an excruciating moment for me because I saw this 60-year-old version of myself looking back at me mourning the glory of a life that could have been. I realized I needed to make an audacious decision. I walked out of my job and career. Everything I’ve ever known. I felt glorious for about half a second and then realized I’m gonna get married in 4 days; I’ve got to call my fiance. Melissa and I have been together for a very long time. She knew me well before I derailed. I’ll never forget what she said to me. She was happy to have me back and said she would rather live with the real me under the Brooklyn bridge than an impersonation of me anywhere else.

AJ breaks down his shut up moments for us:

LIFE AS A NOVEL: When you look at your life as a story unraveling you start to see even the bad times as the times that are most interesting. And even in those moments there’s a traditional side of you that say, “I’m fucked” and there’s this other side that says this is an adventure and I’m in the middle of it. This is going to be a great story to tell.

LIFE AS AN ART PROJECT: The day it really hit me I realized this is my life and it is my one and only. There are no encores. There are no redos. I don’t get another one. This is it. When you recognize this is not your practice life. This is all you have. Everything changes when you really get that because your choices become more urgent and that fear of “Am I gonna make it?” is much less relevant. This is my life. This is my art project. Seeking the things you want to do.

Shut Up Tips:

If you’re not selling information, then you transfer into a world where it’s not about the size of your list. You look at them as individuals and you connect to them as a person. I spend about 2 to 3 hours a day thanking everyone for subscribing to Pursuit of Everything. I want to know who’s here, who’s showing up, what they’re working on. – AJ

A lot of people would say connection is not scalable. I think the most beautiful things in life are not scalable. – AJ

If you don’t know what you’re building and “success comes knocking at your door” then the only way to go is towards the currents of growth for growth’s sake and that’s where most people go. I don’t think that’s necessarily right. I think you just have to know what you’re seeking out to build. – AJ

I try to look at fears that in the past would have had their foot on my throat and I just let them stand there; I try to not do that now. That dude was always afraid. I know there are people like that dude out there. That’s who I’m writing to. The 22-year-old version of myself. I’m telling that guy he doesn’t have to listen to everybody else and he has much more choices than he thinks he has. – AJ

You telling me to stop doing this is like telling me to cut off my left arm. – Berni

Recognize that you have this one life and things start to take care of themselves when you realize that. – AJ

I would have been “that guy” for the rest of my life. It’s a terrifying feeling having your life scripted and you don’t like the script. – AJ

It’s not about making the big leap sometimes. It’s about taking the baby steps towards something closer. – Phil

Each of us are living our own narrative. I can’t possibly give blanket advice. It’s ludicrous. – AJ

If you have to continue in your job because you have a family, you’ve got to pay those bills and want to take care of that, then the evening hours after work between 6 to 12 are absolutely essential for you to plan what to do next. Those hours are equivalent to The French Revolution being planned in Parisian bistros at midnight after people were getting off of work. I think the “what to do next” doesn’t have to generate revenue. – AJ

AJ Recommends:

The Good Misfit Project is an experiment in social and measurable philanthropy. In June 2013, 30 misfits will hold individual fund raisers in their communities to raise a total of $15,000 to build a windmill in Gambella for an entire village to complete its five-year journey towards sustainability.

To get involved, donate, or learn more, go to GoodMisfit.com.

Find AJ:

AJ is currently traveling around the entire world in 1,080 days and writes about his journey at the Pursuit of Everything.

Find AJ at @ajleon over on the Twitters.