jia jiang

Stop Being Right and Take Some Damn Action (Shin Kicking Mondays)

May 11, 2014 By Berni

In this episode of Shin Kicking Mondays, I talk about letting go and creating space for success to enter your life.

Thank you Julie Sheranosher for writing in your question: “I think that what I struggle with most in my journey is how to let go and allow things to happen. I find myself constantly calculating, worrying and trying to find alternatives on every scenario I can possibly imagine and that doesn’t leave much room for growth, I find. So I wanted to ask, how does one let go and allow success into one’s life?”

Watch the video (uncensored & unedited)

Listen to the podcast

SHARE SOME SHIN KICKING LOVE:

Even if it wasn’t the best decision, the fact that you took action at all is more important than being right. @BerniXiong #shinkickingmon (click to tweet)

WHAT’S IN TODAY’S SHIN KICKING TOOLKIT?

Redefine “success” (what does it look like, taste like, and most importantly feel like to you?)
Let go of people and things (eliminate activities and people that don’t serve your well-being, reduce things you do in excess, focus your time and energy on what truly matters to you)
Create space to receive (open your eyes and ears to the people and things you want to enter into your life, ask for help, accept help when it is offered to you, be who you want to attract)

Julie Sheranosher (creating time out of thin air at ImJulie.com)

The Year of the Brave Bear: How to Unleash Your Voice and Stand Out in the World (This is the book I’ve been meaning to write since 2011. Download an unabridged copy for free here.)

Jia Jiang (From Foe to Friend: Jia Jiang’s Love Story with Rejection – Episode 19)

WATCH US LIVE EVERY MONDAY AT NOON (CENTRAL U.S. TIME)

Shin Kicking Mondays (The Shut Up Show’s free weekly coaching series) will help you kick start the week with more confidence and a great mental attitude! You’ll be so inspired to jump out of bed and get shit done. By the week’s end, you’ll already be looking forward to next Monday.

Every Monday we deliver a swift kick to the shins with FREE COACHING to help you:

Do work you love while making an impact in the world.
Stand out and get noticed by like-minded and like-hearted peeps.
Attract more paying clients to help you build a steady income stream.

[call_to_action link=”http://bit.ly/shutupnow” button_label=”SUBSCRIBE” rounded=”false” btnsize=”large” color=””]JOIN OTHER BRAVE ENTREPRENEURS WHO ARE SHUTTING UP AND LIVING ON THEIR OWN TERMS.[/call_to_action]

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From Foe to Friend: Jia Jiang’s Love Story with Rejection – SUS25

January 23, 2014 By Berni

Jia Jiang stole the stage recently at World Domination Summit when he got up in front of 3000 entrepreneurs to talk about how his failed startup took him from a downward spiral of depression to finding hope through 100 Days of Rejection Therapy. After being rejected for funding that would have taken his business app startup to launch, Jia went on a personal journey to develop his rejection muscle as he continued searching for investors. Little did he know that in his pursuit to befriend rejection, the project would take on a life of its own and end up inspiring millions of people all over the world.

Watch and listen as Jia shares how he wanted to build software, but instead made an impact on the universe through his love story with rejection.

Share Some Shut Up Love –> Winning isn’t about getting a yes or no. It’s having the courage to ask for what you want. – @JiaJiang #shutupshow (click to tweet)

See video blog and full show notes at: https://theshutupshow.com/jiajiang

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Focus On the Joy of Defeat, Not the End Goal – Episode 74

December 26, 2013 By Berni

In today’s episode, we discuss why most of us wait until December to regain our focus. More importantly, we reinforce a message we’ve both learned right here on our show more than once that coincides with the reason we often lose focus throughout the calendar year.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)

Share Some Shut Up Love –> The scoreboard starts now, we do not have to wait. @PhilGerb on @_TheShutUpShow #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Shut Up Tips:

As we get closer to the deadline, we lose focus because we run around like chickens with heads cut off. – Phil

Focus sometimes happens when the calendar resets because we think we had all this time to meet our deadlines. – Phil

What would you do if you knew you only have 30 days to live? Damn it, why don’t you run your business like that every single day instead of waiting for a BS deadline? – Phil

If I die tomorrow, did I live with as little regret as possible towards the end of my life? Did I contribute as much as I wanted to? – Berni

We are choosing to focus on more immediate gratification. I think that’s why we use the end of the calendar year as our scoreboard instead of breaking down our big picture goal into small manageable tasks throughout the year. – Berni

If we get early success, we coast. – Phil

Spend time with people who teach you how to get rejected. – Phil

Instead of the pleasure of success, instead of the agony of defeat, focus on the joy of defeat. And relish on the opportunity to get a “no” because it means we are one step closer to the “yes” we seek. – Phil

The scoreboard starts now, we do not have to wait. – Phil

Let’s go for the ask, let’s go for the no. – Berni

Shut up and go for no, baby! – Phil

Berni & Phil Recommend:

Go for No! by Andrea Waltz (Andrea said “Yes” to coming on as a guest and we’ll be giving away a copy of her book in 2014!)

Episode 19: From Foe to Friend: Jia Jiang’s Love Story with Rejection

Episode 64: It’s Just Math: Extracting Lessons from Failure with Rajesh Setty

Episode 70: Mike Hrostoski Speaks the Truth About Love, Sex, and Entrepreneurship

Why do you think we wait until the end of the calendar year to get our focus back?

Join the conversation below or on Facebook.

Photo credit: Bruce Guenter

Backstage Special: First 25 Recap Show – Episode 29

September 2, 2013 By Berni

What do you get when you cross a Polish who can do math with an Asian who is allergic to alcohol? You’ll find out soon enough when you watch a very, special backstage episode Phil and I recorded off the cuff after fueling up on some margaritas.

I happened to be in Phil’s neck of the woods giving a shin kicking development training workshop on Friday. So Phil and I decided to huddle up at our Milwaukee hub (Phil’s coworking office at Hudson Lounge in the Third Ward) to record our first ever in-person backstage episode to recap the first 25 episodes of The SHUT UP Show!

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)Listen to the show (coming soon)

Share Some SHUT UP Love:

We are not the authority in anything. We are guinea pigs and this show is an experiment. @BerniXiong on #shutupshow (click to tweet)

We all have feedback to give. We all have insight that someone needs. @PhilGerb on #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

Berni and Phil do the robot dance right before every episode goes LIVE ON AIR
None of the questions are contrived. They are asked off the cuff to keep the conversation real and raw.
Phil may or may not have been twerking before this special backstage episode went LIVE
Berni really has Asian Flush, which means she “experiences flushes or blotches as a result of an accumulation of acetaldehyde, a metabolic byproduct of the catabolic metabolism of alcohol” (via Wikipedia)

Defining SHUT UP Moment:

Berni nixed a weight management coaching project the week she was about to launch it to the public because it was excruciating work. Even though she had clients lined up and a clear plan to monetize as a newly certified weight management specialist, she decided to instead pursue what she truly enjoyed. That’s when Berni shut up and chose to go all-in with The SHUT UP Show, a project that has no guarantee of monetization, because she’s having the time of her life.

Phil recently got his ass kicked by his accountability coach only days before he was about to launch a new project. His coach helped him to realize the project was not in alignment with his core values. After 3 hours of crying and reflection, Phil decided to follow his heart, instead of leading with the prospect of making a ton of money, and completely derailed his original plan to stay true to his values.

SHUT UP Tips (Highlights from First 25):

I told people to shut up a long time ago and decided now, as my life is changing and I want to start a family, is the time to shut up myself. – Scott Ginsberg

Don’t be afraid to look stupid. Get over it. It’s just a part of being an entrepreneur. You’re going to do things that don’t work. Lean Startup: fail fast, learn, regroup, retrench, relaunch. – Catherine Morgan

If you try to play this game on an island, you’re not going to succeed. If you think you have your little baby–your idea–and you’re almost afraid to show people because you’re afraid they’re going to tell you the truth that maybe its an ugly baby. You need the flip side too; you need good people to be honest with you. – Greg Hartle

If you don’t come up with ideas every day, after 2 weeks your idea muscle will atrophy. – James Altucher

Do what you love in the service of those who love what you do. – Steve Farber

The day it really hit me I realized this is my life and it is my one and only. There are no encores. There are no redos. I don’t get another one. This is it. When you recognize this is not your practice life. This is all you have. Everything changes when you really get that because your choices become more urgent and that fear of “Am I gonna make it?” is much less relevant. – AJ Leon

Special Thanks to Guests from Our First 25:

Scott Ginsberg – Scott Ginsberg on Shutting Up and Not Giving a Shit – Episode 2
Bryson Andres – Bryson Andres on Becoming Discovered by Playing From the Heart – Episode 4
Amy Clover – Amy Clover Moves Us to Be Strong Inside Out – Episode 7
Srini Rao – Srini Rao Teaches Us About the Art of Being Unmistakable – Episode 8
John Haydon – John Haydon Helps us Flip Our Middle Finger to Fear and Doubt – Episode 9
AJ Leon – AJ Leon Helps Us Define Our Moments So They Don’t Define Us – Episode 10
Greg Hartle – Greg Hartle Teaches Us How to Succeed Starting From Scratch – Episode 11
James Altucher – James Altucher Takes Us From Broke to Choosing Yourself – Episode 13
Dat Phan – Death, Sex and Fear: What the Hell Dat Phan? – Episode 15
Craig Price – Craig Price Gives Us a Reality Check & Lots of Laughs – Episode 16
Susan Baroncini-Moe – Susan Baroncini-Moe Breaks World Records & Runs a Profitable Business in Blue Jeans – Episode 18
Jia Jiang – From Foe to Friend: Jia Jiang’s Love Story with Rejection – Episode 19
Catherine Morgan – Catherine Morgan Helps Us Get from Point A to Point B – Episode 20
Steve Farber – Steve Farber On Being More You & Infusing Your Voice with Work You Do – Episode 21
Matthew Kimberley – Matthew Kimberley Helps Us Get a Grip & More Clients – Episode 22
Paul Jarvis – How to Be Whole-Assed & Awesome at Online Business Like Paul Jarvis – Episode 23
Bob Burg – Go-Givers Have More Fun (and Make More Money) with Bob Burg – Episode 24
Chris Brogan – Love in the Time of the Owner with Chris Brogan – Episode 25

Find Berni & Phil:

From Foe to Friend: Jia Jiang’s Love Story with Rejection – Episode 19

July 31, 2013 By Berni

Watch and listen as Jia shares how he wanted to build software, but instead made an impact on the universe through his love story with rejection.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)Listen to the podcast

Share Some Shut Up Love –> Winning isn’t about getting a yes or no. It’s having the courage to ask for what you want. – @JiaJiang #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

After meeting Bill Gates in China as a teenager, Jia moved to the U.S. to pursue his dream of becoming an entrepreneur.
Jia has made his way on the stages of numerous venues that include Jeff Probst Show, TEDxAustin, and World Domination Summit.
Jia became a YouTube sensation after his “Rejection Therapy Day 3: Ask for Olympic Symbol Donuts” video went viral (5.1 million views to-date).
Speaking of which, Jia commented that Berni’s hair looks like the Olympic torch.

Defining Shut Up Moment:

I feel there’s a purpose for everything. I came to this country at 16 years old, which landed me in rural Louisiana. I had a lot of social rejection because I was very shy and my language skills were not that good. My host family then stole all of the money I brought with me. When you’re a teenager, you don’t understand why bad things happen to you. As an adult, you learn to understand why they happen and what true love really is. I see the world as it is. But I haven’t lost that innocence about wanting to have a better world.

Shut Up Tips:

Miracles are not supposed to end without real impact. – Jia

This is bigger than having a cool idea. It’s about finding a market. Finding a need. And fulfilling that need. By chance I stumbled upon this huge need. Not just entrepreneurs, but all humans have fear. If I can help people handle fear with my story, I feel I’ve made my mark as an entrepreneur. – Jia

I depended on blind faith and was rejected. That rejection taught me to not give up. When I see something very negative now, instead of running away from it I think “let’s dance with it, play games with it, blow it up and see how negative it really is.” Then it turns out not to be negative after all. It becomes positive, really. – Jia

Rejection is just other people’s opinions of you. We all have opinions and we are more than willing to give them out for free. So why should I take it objectively? – Jia

A lot of things are possible if you’d just go out and ask. – Jia

Sometimes in the journey of even wanting rejection, we get accepted. We learn we are better than we thought we were. Even if we think we’re failing, we’re moving forward. – Phil

You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. – Steve Jobs (via Berni)

I was a pretty failed business owner one day and the next day an internet sensation pursued by so many people. But it doesn’t matter, I’m still the same person. Just because somebody has an opinion about you doesn’t mean it carries weight about who you are. – Jia

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. – Steve Jobs (via Jia)

Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t. – Jia

Jia Recommends:

100 Days of Rejection Therapy

Jackie, the shift supervisor at Krispy Kreme, transformed donuts into the Olympic symbol and touched Jia’s life with unrelenting hope and faith in human kindness.

Find Jia:

Jia’s website and blog: Fearbuster.com

Jia on Twitter

Jia’s YouTube Channel