john haydon

John Haydon Helps us Flip Our Middle Finger to Fear and Doubt – SUS10

November 24, 2013 By Berni

When Phil suggested we interview John Haydon for our show, I immediately did a Google search and within seconds responded with “YES!” You’ll understand why after you watch this episode. Not only is John a brave mofo, and a little bit of a jokester, you can tell just how genuine and passionate he is about being a good Dad and master of his craft (that is social media marketing for non-profits AND music).

(If you wonder why I’m laughing like a 12-year-old girl in the beginning of the episode, before we began airing John couldn’t remove the US flag from the lower third where you see his name. I made sure to dig into the US flag joke as much as I could as a result of that technical glitch.)

We love John for having such a great sense of humor and huge heart. We know you will too!

Share Some Shut Up Love –> I learned that money can buy you a beautiful brass bed, but it can’t buy you a peaceful night’s sleep. @JohnHaydon via @_theshutupshow (click to tweet)

See video blog and full show notes at https://theshutupshow.com/johnhaydon

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Finding Freedom On Your Plate, in Prison and Poverty with Meg Worden – Episode 36

September 18, 2013 By Berni

If you’ve ever asked yourself the dreaded question we all ask before taking that huge leap of faith as an entrepreneur, small business owner or creator of your own destiny, “What’s the worst that can happen?” then I promise you today’s episode is going to have you at the edge of your seat.

Meg Worden joins me for a one-on-one Skype chat (Phil had to catch a plane) that had me wiggling back and forth in my chair the whole time (sorry for my big schnoz in the camera) as she took me through several shut up moments in her life that often resulted in worst-case scenarios. And I’m not being metaphorical here, Meg has served time in federal prison, ran out of money and was homeless not too long ago. She shares with us exactly what went on in her mind and how she rebuilt her life several times over.

Today, I declare Meg Worden as “The Ambassador of SHUT UP Kwan” for being so brave, resilient, uncompromising, and most importantly for being completely vulnerable and raw with us. Thank you Matthew Kimberley for the recommendation.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)Listen to the show (coming soon)

Share Some Shut Up Love –> I don’t want to compromise on a happy life. I don’t feel like living an unsatisfied, torturous life is an option. @MegWorden #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

Meg is a Certified Holistic Health Coach and wellness consultant based out of Portland
Meg is a member of AADP and registered with Yoga Alliance
Meg was incarcerated in federal prison and served two years for selling ecstasy
Meg lived out of her car and hotels surviving off credit cards for a period of time before she built her business
She is a writer and author, currently scoping out agents for her memoir

Defining Shut Up Moment:

My big shut up moment happened about four years ago. The income we primarily relied upon came from my then husband. One day, he got a phone call. He lost his job. No severance. Within an hour, FedEx showed up with the final check pro-rated. We had nothing to fall back on. He was unemployed for two years as we tried to work things out. I had been slowly working towards building my business and writing my memoir and then this happens. I wasn’t willing to just do anything for a job and it’s a lot to get over having a felony. I also didn’t finish college so I just didn’t do well in a lot of job scenarios.

I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit. I wanted to be helping people, immersed in a healthy lifestyle, location independent, set my own hours, for my job to be extremely fun, and to pay the bills so I could buy airplane tickets and sexy boots. I don’t need a lot in life but I don’t want to be in the stress of poverty. After two years of trying really hard, we became homeless. We lived in my car and at times in hotels burning through our credit cards before moving to Portland. I was like, really? The rug’s getting pulled out from under me again?

It took a lot of effort to turn it around. It was something I learned in prison. This is all stuff I learned through necessity and survival techniques. Once you have to do something, you have to do it. Or at least I felt compelled to do it because I don’t want to compromise on a happy life. I don’t feel like living an unsatisfied, torturous life is even an option. I feel my time here is really sacred and important and there’s no way I am going to accept that I have to be unhappy while I’m here. Or put all of my energy into something that has nothing to do with me. I learned to find gratitude even in all of my shut up moments. I started this business over two years ago and today it is everything I ever wanted.

Shut Up Tips:

You either get defeated or you defeat the situation. – Berni

Having roots doesn’t necessarily mean being in one particular place or family. The trick is to have internal roots. Having roots and wings at the same time. I had a sense of stability inside. If the rug is pulled out from under me, I can just hover and hold space and wait to see what the next thing is that comes for me while taking action. – Meg

This is really hard work to accept the fact that your problems are really not that bad. When you get to the next place, you have a whole new set of problems. – Meg

Shit just happens. If we stop and think, what are my problems today? What are the things I’m dealing with? Some things are very serious. Big things are at stake. There may be big fears or emotional triggers attached to them. But just think, would you trade your problems for anyone else’s problems? Generally, the obstacles we’re facing are getting us from where we are to where we want to be. – Meg

When we’re faced with some sort of obstacle, are we labeling it good or bad? Or are we taking action? – Meg

We’re not immune to bad things happening to us, it’s how we react to these things that matters. – Berni

I’ve learned to accept my undisciplined personality and work with it instead of against it. That ends up working a lot in favor with productivity. – Meg

I found a yoga practice. It made my body strong and flexible. It gave me a calm mind and I just kept going. Kept reading. Kept studying. Kept talking to people and kept practicing the idea that if there was something I was afraid of, I should just do it anyway. I recognize bravery was not the lack of fear. Enough practice in that and you’ll get pretty good at it. – Meg

The best thing we can do is edit out the stress. When the stress is intrinsically wrapped around everything we eat, then we’re not being properly nourished. – Meg

I help my clients to figure out what parts of their lives they’re starving in. It’s about long term, sustainable change. What I want for them is freedom. To have a spacious, gentle and peaceful relationship with food and their body. – Meg

Meg Recommends:

Meg’s post on Maria Shriver: Everything I Know About Freedom, I Learned in Prison

Meg’s talk at Back Fence PDX, a live storytelling series in Portland, capturing her experience before, during and after being incarcerated in federal prison as a new mom.

Find Meg:

Check out Meg’s website and blog at Megworden.com

Tweet Meg at @Megworden

Backstage Special: First 25 Recap Show – Episode 29

September 2, 2013 By Berni

What do you get when you cross a Polish who can do math with an Asian who is allergic to alcohol? You’ll find out soon enough when you watch a very, special backstage episode Phil and I recorded off the cuff after fueling up on some margaritas.

I happened to be in Phil’s neck of the woods giving a shin kicking development training workshop on Friday. So Phil and I decided to huddle up at our Milwaukee hub (Phil’s coworking office at Hudson Lounge in the Third Ward) to record our first ever in-person backstage episode to recap the first 25 episodes of The SHUT UP Show!

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)Listen to the show (coming soon)

Share Some SHUT UP Love:

We are not the authority in anything. We are guinea pigs and this show is an experiment. @BerniXiong on #shutupshow (click to tweet)

We all have feedback to give. We all have insight that someone needs. @PhilGerb on #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

Berni and Phil do the robot dance right before every episode goes LIVE ON AIR
None of the questions are contrived. They are asked off the cuff to keep the conversation real and raw.
Phil may or may not have been twerking before this special backstage episode went LIVE
Berni really has Asian Flush, which means she “experiences flushes or blotches as a result of an accumulation of acetaldehyde, a metabolic byproduct of the catabolic metabolism of alcohol” (via Wikipedia)

Defining SHUT UP Moment:

Berni nixed a weight management coaching project the week she was about to launch it to the public because it was excruciating work. Even though she had clients lined up and a clear plan to monetize as a newly certified weight management specialist, she decided to instead pursue what she truly enjoyed. That’s when Berni shut up and chose to go all-in with The SHUT UP Show, a project that has no guarantee of monetization, because she’s having the time of her life.

Phil recently got his ass kicked by his accountability coach only days before he was about to launch a new project. His coach helped him to realize the project was not in alignment with his core values. After 3 hours of crying and reflection, Phil decided to follow his heart, instead of leading with the prospect of making a ton of money, and completely derailed his original plan to stay true to his values.

SHUT UP Tips (Highlights from First 25):

I told people to shut up a long time ago and decided now, as my life is changing and I want to start a family, is the time to shut up myself. – Scott Ginsberg

Don’t be afraid to look stupid. Get over it. It’s just a part of being an entrepreneur. You’re going to do things that don’t work. Lean Startup: fail fast, learn, regroup, retrench, relaunch. – Catherine Morgan

If you try to play this game on an island, you’re not going to succeed. If you think you have your little baby–your idea–and you’re almost afraid to show people because you’re afraid they’re going to tell you the truth that maybe its an ugly baby. You need the flip side too; you need good people to be honest with you. – Greg Hartle

If you don’t come up with ideas every day, after 2 weeks your idea muscle will atrophy. – James Altucher

Do what you love in the service of those who love what you do. – Steve Farber

The day it really hit me I realized this is my life and it is my one and only. There are no encores. There are no redos. I don’t get another one. This is it. When you recognize this is not your practice life. This is all you have. Everything changes when you really get that because your choices become more urgent and that fear of “Am I gonna make it?” is much less relevant. – AJ Leon

Special Thanks to Guests from Our First 25:

Scott Ginsberg – Scott Ginsberg on Shutting Up and Not Giving a Shit – Episode 2
Bryson Andres – Bryson Andres on Becoming Discovered by Playing From the Heart – Episode 4
Amy Clover – Amy Clover Moves Us to Be Strong Inside Out – Episode 7
Srini Rao – Srini Rao Teaches Us About the Art of Being Unmistakable – Episode 8
John Haydon – John Haydon Helps us Flip Our Middle Finger to Fear and Doubt – Episode 9
AJ Leon – AJ Leon Helps Us Define Our Moments So They Don’t Define Us – Episode 10
Greg Hartle – Greg Hartle Teaches Us How to Succeed Starting From Scratch – Episode 11
James Altucher – James Altucher Takes Us From Broke to Choosing Yourself – Episode 13
Dat Phan – Death, Sex and Fear: What the Hell Dat Phan? – Episode 15
Craig Price – Craig Price Gives Us a Reality Check & Lots of Laughs – Episode 16
Susan Baroncini-Moe – Susan Baroncini-Moe Breaks World Records & Runs a Profitable Business in Blue Jeans – Episode 18
Jia Jiang – From Foe to Friend: Jia Jiang’s Love Story with Rejection – Episode 19
Catherine Morgan – Catherine Morgan Helps Us Get from Point A to Point B – Episode 20
Steve Farber – Steve Farber On Being More You & Infusing Your Voice with Work You Do – Episode 21
Matthew Kimberley – Matthew Kimberley Helps Us Get a Grip & More Clients – Episode 22
Paul Jarvis – How to Be Whole-Assed & Awesome at Online Business Like Paul Jarvis – Episode 23
Bob Burg – Go-Givers Have More Fun (and Make More Money) with Bob Burg – Episode 24
Chris Brogan – Love in the Time of the Owner with Chris Brogan – Episode 25

Find Berni & Phil:

John Haydon Helps us Flip Our Middle Finger to Fear and Doubt – Episode 9

June 10, 2013 By Berni

We love John for having such a great sense of humor and huge heart. We know you will too!

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)

Listen to the podcast

Share Some Shut Up Love –> I learned that money can buy you a beautiful brass bed, but it can’t buy you a peaceful night’s sleep. @JohnHaydon via @_theshutupshow

Fun Facts:

John is the author of Facebook Marketing for Dummies among a bunch of other awesome books.
John attended Berklee College of Music and has been playing music since he was a kid.
John spent over 15 years working in sales and marketing roles in healthcare, advertising, and software industries.
John owns Inbound Zombie, new media branding for non-profits.

Defining Shut Up Moment:

Raised by a brave and strong mom who defied the odds and recovered from a brain aneurysm despite what doctors told her, John learned about bravery at a very young age. When John’s son was born in 2003, he realized he had very different responsibilities and a desire to set the example he was shown at a young age. The reality of wanting to be a good dad and mentor to his son while balancing a split life working a sales job by day and moonlighting with music by night was causing a lot of inner conflict for a long time.

By 2007, John earned a good living working at a software company and realized he was smart enough and ready to start a business on the side. It wasn’t an overnight transition. As Hugh McLeod taught him, “you gotta put food on the table, don’t be an idiot.” John began infusing his two “minds” together and for several years built the foundation for his business working long days and nights.

In 2009, John’s life would change completely. He was forced out of his job and from that moment on, he ran with the business he had been building and never looked back. As he recalled for us, “I felt like I was pushed off the building with an ‘oh and by the way, here’s a plane and cockpit. You’ll figure out what to do.’ Then I had to build cockpit on the way down.”

Shut Up Tips:

3 Daily Habits John Practices to Embrace His Shut Up Mindset:

Write down goals and look at them every day.
Spend every morning and every night in Buddhist practice.
Be with other people who will make you feel good.

What will my son remember about me during this period? Am I a coward? Scared and angry all the time? Or am I a father who has his fucking balls to the wall, shitting in his pants, but still taking action anyhow? – John

My mom showed me through her actions what it meant to have courage, dignity and consistency. – John

We live our whole lives in our identity. The only way we interact is through our 5 senses. Get with other people and help them out. It gives us more power. – John

Tranparency is giving people the information they need and not hiding anything. They don’t need or want to know what kind of underwear you’re wearing. – John

I only go to Facebook because of my friends. I don’t go to Facebook to find businesses. I go there to engage with my community. – John

“People don’t believe what you tell them. They rarely believe what you show them. They often believe what their friends tell them. They always believe what they tell themselves.” – Seth Godin (via John)

The practice as a small business owner or solopreneur is an understanding that other people do want me. That is a big deal. – Phil

I do not want to have this experience ever again. I do not want to be working for someone making a decision about what’s gonna happen to my future. That’s a terribly vulnerable decision. They can fire me any frickin day. I don’t want that. – John

I’m a smart guy. What would it look like if I did my own thing? – John

You have to be happy with what you’re doing because you’re going to be doing it till the day you die. You better love it. – John

You are the balls. You are the ovaries. – John

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” – Bill Cosby (via Berni)

Slowly but the surely the old voices go somewhere else. When they realize they are powerless, they eventually vacate. – John

Action is the biggest middle finger to fear and doubt. If you want to feel your limitless potential, then you act. – John

Nothing is ever going to happen unless you take action. Take action no matter how you feel. Action will get you results. Result gives you hope. Hope makes you feel great. You know you’re more powerful than the old tapes. – John

John Recommends:

Hugh McLeod – ignore everybody

Phil Gerbyshak – John attributes a lot of thanks to Phil for being uncompromising and “always looking at peoples’ potential.”

Chris Garrett – “The real deal” as John said. Chris was one of the few likable and trustworthy people John befriended early on in his career who actually helped him define his niche.

Find John:

John’s blog

John’s business page on Facebook

Tweet with John