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mike hrostoski

Focus On the Joy of Defeat, Not the End Goal – Episode 74

December 26, 2013 By Berni

In today’s episode, we discuss why most of us wait until December to regain our focus. More importantly, we reinforce a message we’ve both learned right here on our show more than once that coincides with the reason we often lose focus throughout the calendar year.

 

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited) 

Share Some Shut Up Love –> The scoreboard starts now, we do not have to wait. @PhilGerb on @_TheShutUpShow #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Shut Up Tips:

As we get closer to the deadline, we lose focus because we run around like chickens with heads cut off. – Phil

Focus sometimes happens when the calendar resets because we think we had all this time to meet our deadlines. – Phil

What would you do if you knew you only have 30 days to live? Damn it, why don’t you run your business like that every single day instead of waiting for a BS deadline? – Phil

If I die tomorrow, did I live with as little regret as possible towards the end of my life? Did I contribute as much as I wanted to? – Berni

We are choosing to focus on more immediate gratification. I think that’s why we use the end of the calendar year as our scoreboard instead of breaking down our big picture goal into small manageable tasks throughout the year. – Berni

If we get early success, we coast. – Phil

Spend time with people who teach you how to get rejected. – Phil

Instead of the pleasure of success, instead of the agony of defeat, focus on the joy of defeat. And relish on the opportunity to get a “no” because it means we are one step closer to the “yes” we seek. – Phil

The scoreboard starts now, we do not have to wait. – Phil

Let’s go for the ask, let’s go for the no. – Berni

Shut up and go for no, baby! – Phil

Berni & Phil Recommend:

Go for No! by Andrea Waltz (Andrea said “Yes” to coming on as a guest and we’ll be giving away a copy of her book in 2014!)

Episode 19: From Foe to Friend: Jia Jiang’s Love Story with Rejection

Episode 64: It’s Just Math: Extracting Lessons from Failure with Rajesh Setty

Episode 70: Mike Hrostoski Speaks the Truth About Love, Sex, and Entrepreneurship

Why do you think we wait until the end of the calendar year to get our focus back?

Join the conversation below or on Facebook.

 

Photo credit: Bruce Guenter

Mike Hrostoski Speaks the Truth About Love, Sex, and Entrepreneurship – Episode 70

December 16, 2013 By Berni

Our guest today was recommended by our friend and former guest Vasavi Kumar. This is the first time we’ve featured a Life Coach for Men, which is rare. Mike Hrostoski takes us through a raw discussion about the reasons he left his lucrative corporate career and how his travels as a digital nomad has led him to do the work he does today as The Men’s Coach. If you’ve ever doubted yourself or thought your idea was stupid, Mike will help you move forward and do it any way. You might author a book in one month or put on an event for 300 people even though you’ve never done either before, who knows?

 

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)

Share Some Shut Up Love –> The more I share and speak my truth, the better results in life I get. – @Hrostoski on @_TheShutUpShow #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

  • Mike is The Men’s Coach, a life coach for men.
  • Mike quit his corporate job after his mom passed away and began traveling and volunteering during all of 2012.
  • Mike co-hosts a LIVE web show called The Raw Truth About Entrepreneurship with Jonathan Mead.
  • Mike has been a digital nomad since February 2012, traveling and working across three continents, eight countries and dozens of cities.
  • Mike recently self-published his first kindle book that he wrote in the entire month of August 2013.

Defining Shut Up Moment:

I’ve been a nomad for a year and nine months. Up until I was 30, I had a pretty conventional life. I worked in sales and marketing, got my MBA. I worked in human resources for a big Fortune 50 company and then my mom passed away. The most amazing people I’ve met are there doing their work because of a catalytic event or a trauma they have overcome. The reason they can coach people is because of all they’ve overcome. For me, it was because my mom passed away.

I sold everything I own. I left my corporate job. For all of 2012, I worked for free. I saved a lot of money. So I really started living life in HD. I pushed myself to do things that scared me a little bit. Like writing a book or doing speaking engagements or hosting an event. I’m doing my first retreat in January and a huge conference in April. I’ve never done any of these things. Like any entrepreneur, we’re making it up as we go and there’s no road map on how to do ABC. It’s about acting in the face of fear.

I’m not fearless. I don’t like the word fearless. I feel tension and fear all the time. But I move forward knowing whatever I’m afraid of–that’s my edge–that’s my next hurdle to jump over. I coach men and I chose this niche because I think it’s a market that’s under served. I learned pretty much everything from a book or mentors. I think there’s a lot of lies men are taught from the playground or from our dads. So a lot of my work is helping those guys drop those beliefs and I let them know they can cry and show emotion and it’s okay to ask for help. I feel very lucky that I have dozens of men in my life who are like my brothers. We talk about real deep stuff and I know a lot of guys don’t have that. My mission and purpose is to help men level up and give them the resources they need to have the lives of their dreams.

Shut Up Tips:

In the absence of any action, you’re afraid. But when you do it, it’s just not as scary as you thought it was. – Phil

The most amazing people I’ve met are there because of a catalytic event or a trauma they have overcome. – Mike

My voice has grown from my blog and from doing the work. – Mike

The more I share and speak my truth, the better results in life I get. The more powerful I feel. The deeper connection I can have in a partnership with a woman. – Mike

I was a really shy Asian nerd. Loves books. Scared of girls. I was a senior in high school and I couldn’t even look in a girl’s eyes. – Mike

So much of my work is on ways of being with women and appreciating beauty and speaking your truth. – Mike

We’re perfect as we are. – Phil

I’m an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs solve problems. We create value by keeping our ears open and looking at market needs. We say, “That’s a problem. I’m going to solve it.” – Mike

If you can sell without fear, if it doesn’t matter what the outcome is, and you can detach from that outcome, then you can really be more fearless and focus on what you really want. – Phil

People try to skip levels. You level up one level at a time. If you jump levels, you don’t have the foundation you need to stay at that level. Eventually you’ll realize you’re way up and you look down and wonder how did I get here? – Phil

People don’t live the life of their dreams because they’re afraid of failure and “what will people think about me if I fail” or “I’m gonna look like an idiot.” – Mike

If you have that belief “I’m not __ enough,” it’s like walking around with a straight jacket on. – Mike

All of us have a tremendous body of work. – Mike

The beliefs are what hold our businesses and lives back. – Phil

A lot of people say time is your most valuable resource and I believe it’s energy. – Mike

I’m currently really playing big and pushing myself. I need people on my team who really push me instead of people thinking “Oh Mike, are you too good for me now?” – Mike

Mike Recommends:

In April 2014, Mike will gather with 300 high performing men in San Diego for a weekend of accelerated growth. Learn more about ConferenceForMen.com.

Check out the book Mike wrote in the month of August 2013 –> August: A True Story About Love, Sex, and Entrepreneurship

Find Mike:

Mike’s website and blog is at Hrostoski.com

Mike’s “Do What Energizes You, Not What Drains You” episode on YouTube

Mike’s LIVE web show with Jonathan Mead: The Raw Truth About Entrepreneurship

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