pursuit of everything

The SHUT UP Show Hosts The Life and Times of a Remarkable Misfit LIVE! – Episode 87

January 29, 2014 By Berni

Brace yourself… for so many reasons. I say that a lot with this show, but for me, this one touched me in places I didn’t know existed. Today’s episode is longer because it’s The SHUT UP Show’s first LIVE event sharing the stage with our featured guest, AJ Leon, and in front of a LIVE audience.

We were not sure how it would go given we were streaming the Google Hangouts On Air like we do every Tuesday, while addressing a great group of people in the room. It turned out just as I hoped it would. Full of life, energy, inspiration, love and hope. Hope for those who felt they didn’t fit in… last night was evidence there’s a place in this world for remarkable misfits. It’s with each other. Doing good shit. All over the world. Together.

The entire interview is roughly 50 minutes long. To forward to the Q&A following the interview, skip to track time 49:40.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)

Listen to the podcast

Share Some Shut Up Love –> Joy is the only currency that really matters. – @AJLeon #remarkablemisfit #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

Since AJ’s first web appearance on The SHUT UP Show, his Good Misfit project (which included Berni) raised over $20,000 in the single month of June 2013 and a windmill was built in Gambella in August of 2013.
AJ’s MisfitCamp contest winner, Tyson Adams, who was flown into Milwaukee in January 2013 to launch Jhai Coffeehouse project successfully raised over $15,000 in August 2013 (which included Berni) and the world’s first philanthropic coffee roaster was built in Laos in October 2013.
AJ’s first appearance inspired Berni to view herself as the protagonist in her own novel, which led her to author the entire draft of her one-year memoir on a single Saturday three weeks ago. AJ has agreed to write the foreword.
AJ launched TrendyMisfit, handcrafted goodies made by misfits for misfits.
AJ’s self-published book has just arrived from the printers! It came just in time for the event and before the new book website will be available. Stay tuned by going to PursuitOfEverything.com.
This was The SHUT UP Show’s inaugural LIVE EVENT series, which means Berni and Phil are taking Google Hangouts on the road and collaborating with YOU!

Defining Shut Up Moment:

You always have a choice. I never recognized that early in life. The clear delineating factor for me for my life and how I was gonna live it was, that day it was not about success or winning or losing anymore. I recognized that this life was mine. That it is my one and only. There’s no redos. No encores. This is all I get. And if I accept this right now, I’m gonna end up forfeiting 40 years of my life to a system I didn’t design nor did I intend to ever play by. While it sounds like very esoteric or hippie speak. That’s the most pragmatic statement on this planet. That’s was when everything changed for me. It wasn’t how I was gonna define my life in terms of parameters. It was about living life with intention and doing work that matters. When I leave this planet, it will just a little different because I was here.

Shut Up Tips:

In my mid-20s I had a six-figure salary, a corner office, an outrageous bonus. But, the tiny little problem, I was outrageously unhappy and I was in the midst of living some other dude’s life. – AJ

Joy is the only currency that really matters. – AJ

We have this relationship with money that is odd. We created it, but it owns us. The more we make, the harder it is to walk away. – AJ

I’d rather live with the real you under the Brooklyn Bridge than the impersonation of you somewhere else. – Melissa (via AJ)

It’s easy to look back retroactively at a story. But at that time all I thought was, I didn’t want a prison sentence of going back to an office every day. But you can end up creating your own prison. Only this time you’re locked inside holding the key. – AJ

I recognized the impetus was polluted. When your starting place is polluted, you can’t get away from the perversion of everything after that. – AJ

What if today is day one? What would I do? Let yourself dream for a minute. – AJ

When you’re living life as an adventure, all the context of what one would consider normal–the comforts we were taught to not embrace–that goes away. – AJ

When you view your life as a novel. When you view yourself as a protagonist in a grand adventure, everything changes. Because the times you think, “Man this is awful, I’m sleeping under a bus bench in Victoria train station,” you recognize if I were reading this, that would the be the part keeping me awake at night as I’m paging through it. The struggle. That’s the interesting piece. – AJ

I think the greatest regret people have is living a sanitized life. It’s not living a hard one; it’s living one that’s too rounded at the edges. – AJ

When you try really hard at something, you’re completely exposed. That’s the reason I almost didn’t publish. In the end, I hit the publish button. When I last counted, the manifesto was downloaded a half a million times. It sailed around the world in a way I didn’t expect. – AJ

I believe in small batch. I’m not against infinite scalability but I refuse to worship at that altar. – AJ

We live in a world now where we’re all part artist and part entrepreneur. And that gradient is getting blurred. Where you fall in that spectrum is gonna be very important with respect to the decisions you make. – AJ

I would rather own a corner coffee shop–one shop–that everybody loves than having 150,000 stores where everyone’s like “that’s just okay.” – AJ

If you’re good at what you do, it’s just gonna keep on taking you towards growth. But you have to hold on and say, “Wait, do I want to go in that direction?” – AJ

This life is mine. It is my one and only. There’s no redos. No encores. This is all I get. – AJ

Be flamboyantly you! There has never been a human being who is exactly like you, with your DNA and your unique set of knowledge and experiences. Figure out what your personal USP is, and get out there and tell the world your story. – AJ

AJ Recommends:

Live a deliberate life. What turns me on is hearing stories of people who are going out and making a difference. Tell Misfits about it!

Find AJ:

AJ writes at PursuitOfEverything.com

Get a FREE COPY of AJ’s manifesto, The Life and Times of a Remarkable Misfit, which has been downloaded over a half a million times.

Tweet with AJ at @AJLeon

**Huge shout out to Melissa Whidjaya and the amazing team at Selz.com, our amazing sponsor!**

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | RSS

Backstage Special: First 25 Recap Show – Episode 29

September 2, 2013 By Berni

What do you get when you cross a Polish who can do math with an Asian who is allergic to alcohol? You’ll find out soon enough when you watch a very, special backstage episode Phil and I recorded off the cuff after fueling up on some margaritas.

I happened to be in Phil’s neck of the woods giving a shin kicking development training workshop on Friday. So Phil and I decided to huddle up at our Milwaukee hub (Phil’s coworking office at Hudson Lounge in the Third Ward) to record our first ever in-person backstage episode to recap the first 25 episodes of The SHUT UP Show!

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited)Listen to the show (coming soon)

Share Some SHUT UP Love:

We are not the authority in anything. We are guinea pigs and this show is an experiment. @BerniXiong on #shutupshow (click to tweet)

We all have feedback to give. We all have insight that someone needs. @PhilGerb on #shutupshow (click to tweet)

Fun Facts:

Berni and Phil do the robot dance right before every episode goes LIVE ON AIR
None of the questions are contrived. They are asked off the cuff to keep the conversation real and raw.
Phil may or may not have been twerking before this special backstage episode went LIVE
Berni really has Asian Flush, which means she “experiences flushes or blotches as a result of an accumulation of acetaldehyde, a metabolic byproduct of the catabolic metabolism of alcohol” (via Wikipedia)

Defining SHUT UP Moment:

Berni nixed a weight management coaching project the week she was about to launch it to the public because it was excruciating work. Even though she had clients lined up and a clear plan to monetize as a newly certified weight management specialist, she decided to instead pursue what she truly enjoyed. That’s when Berni shut up and chose to go all-in with The SHUT UP Show, a project that has no guarantee of monetization, because she’s having the time of her life.

Phil recently got his ass kicked by his accountability coach only days before he was about to launch a new project. His coach helped him to realize the project was not in alignment with his core values. After 3 hours of crying and reflection, Phil decided to follow his heart, instead of leading with the prospect of making a ton of money, and completely derailed his original plan to stay true to his values.

SHUT UP Tips (Highlights from First 25):

I told people to shut up a long time ago and decided now, as my life is changing and I want to start a family, is the time to shut up myself. – Scott Ginsberg

Don’t be afraid to look stupid. Get over it. It’s just a part of being an entrepreneur. You’re going to do things that don’t work. Lean Startup: fail fast, learn, regroup, retrench, relaunch. – Catherine Morgan

If you try to play this game on an island, you’re not going to succeed. If you think you have your little baby–your idea–and you’re almost afraid to show people because you’re afraid they’re going to tell you the truth that maybe its an ugly baby. You need the flip side too; you need good people to be honest with you. – Greg Hartle

If you don’t come up with ideas every day, after 2 weeks your idea muscle will atrophy. – James Altucher

Do what you love in the service of those who love what you do. – Steve Farber

The day it really hit me I realized this is my life and it is my one and only. There are no encores. There are no redos. I don’t get another one. This is it. When you recognize this is not your practice life. This is all you have. Everything changes when you really get that because your choices become more urgent and that fear of “Am I gonna make it?” is much less relevant. – AJ Leon

Special Thanks to Guests from Our First 25:

Scott Ginsberg – Scott Ginsberg on Shutting Up and Not Giving a Shit – Episode 2
Bryson Andres – Bryson Andres on Becoming Discovered by Playing From the Heart – Episode 4
Amy Clover – Amy Clover Moves Us to Be Strong Inside Out – Episode 7
Srini Rao – Srini Rao Teaches Us About the Art of Being Unmistakable – Episode 8
John Haydon – John Haydon Helps us Flip Our Middle Finger to Fear and Doubt – Episode 9
AJ Leon – AJ Leon Helps Us Define Our Moments So They Don’t Define Us – Episode 10
Greg Hartle – Greg Hartle Teaches Us How to Succeed Starting From Scratch – Episode 11
James Altucher – James Altucher Takes Us From Broke to Choosing Yourself – Episode 13
Dat Phan – Death, Sex and Fear: What the Hell Dat Phan? – Episode 15
Craig Price – Craig Price Gives Us a Reality Check & Lots of Laughs – Episode 16
Susan Baroncini-Moe – Susan Baroncini-Moe Breaks World Records & Runs a Profitable Business in Blue Jeans – Episode 18
Jia Jiang – From Foe to Friend: Jia Jiang’s Love Story with Rejection – Episode 19
Catherine Morgan – Catherine Morgan Helps Us Get from Point A to Point B – Episode 20
Steve Farber – Steve Farber On Being More You & Infusing Your Voice with Work You Do – Episode 21
Matthew Kimberley – Matthew Kimberley Helps Us Get a Grip & More Clients – Episode 22
Paul Jarvis – How to Be Whole-Assed & Awesome at Online Business Like Paul Jarvis – Episode 23
Bob Burg – Go-Givers Have More Fun (and Make More Money) with Bob Burg – Episode 24
Chris Brogan – Love in the Time of the Owner with Chris Brogan – Episode 25

Find Berni & Phil:

AJ Leon Helps Us Define Our Moments So They Don’t Define Us – Episode 10

June 14, 2013 By Berni

How do you go from being an insanely successful financial executive in Manhattan, with a six-figure salary and corner office, to quitting your job four days before your wedding because the thought of becoming that guy for the rest of your life scares the crap out of you? AJ Leon, the emperor of awesomesauce and king of misfits, took time out of his uber busy schedule to chat with Phil and me about how that was his narrative in 2007. Over five years later, it is no more.

In this episode, AJ vulnerably takes us through his shut up moments. What led him to decide to take that audacious leap of faith without losing the love of his life and, most importantly, why he believed the view sleeping underneath The Brooklyn Bridge would look far more remarkable than the path he was on. It’s people like AJ that make the kind of work Phil and I do possible. We love AJ and know you will too.

Watch the show (uncensored & unedited) Listen to the podcast

Share Some Shut Up Love –> Most people would say connection is not scalable. I think the most beautiful things in life are not scalable. @ajleon via @_theshutupshow

Fun Facts:

AJ runs the coolest company on the planet with a team that’s “got his back.” Laverne and Shirley literally understand this.
AJ is the Chief Maker of Trouble at Misfit, Inc., a nomadic creative shop that specializes in changing the world.
His first company was a professional Shakespearean theatre company producing performances that were termed as “street Shakespeare.”
AJ majored in accounting, finance, and religious studies (yeah, because that was an obvious cluster of choices).
AJ is an artist, designer, writer, entrepreneur and humanitarian running a company from The Pegasus and his backpack.
AJ publishes a quarterly magazine that features artistic carriers of the Misfit flame all over the globe.

Defining Shut Up Moment:

AJ said it better than I could have ever put into other words:

When I left my job, it was an excruciating moment for me because I saw this 60-year-old version of myself looking back at me mourning the glory of a life that could have been. I realized I needed to make an audacious decision. I walked out of my job and career. Everything I’ve ever known. I felt glorious for about half a second and then realized I’m gonna get married in 4 days; I’ve got to call my fiance. Melissa and I have been together for a very long time. She knew me well before I derailed. I’ll never forget what she said to me. She was happy to have me back and said she would rather live with the real me under the Brooklyn bridge than an impersonation of me anywhere else.

AJ breaks down his shut up moments for us:

LIFE AS A NOVEL: When you look at your life as a story unraveling you start to see even the bad times as the times that are most interesting. And even in those moments there’s a traditional side of you that say, “I’m fucked” and there’s this other side that says this is an adventure and I’m in the middle of it. This is going to be a great story to tell.

LIFE AS AN ART PROJECT: The day it really hit me I realized this is my life and it is my one and only. There are no encores. There are no redos. I don’t get another one. This is it. When you recognize this is not your practice life. This is all you have. Everything changes when you really get that because your choices become more urgent and that fear of “Am I gonna make it?” is much less relevant. This is my life. This is my art project. Seeking the things you want to do.

Shut Up Tips:

If you’re not selling information, then you transfer into a world where it’s not about the size of your list. You look at them as individuals and you connect to them as a person. I spend about 2 to 3 hours a day thanking everyone for subscribing to Pursuit of Everything. I want to know who’s here, who’s showing up, what they’re working on. – AJ

A lot of people would say connection is not scalable. I think the most beautiful things in life are not scalable. – AJ

If you don’t know what you’re building and “success comes knocking at your door” then the only way to go is towards the currents of growth for growth’s sake and that’s where most people go. I don’t think that’s necessarily right. I think you just have to know what you’re seeking out to build. – AJ

I try to look at fears that in the past would have had their foot on my throat and I just let them stand there; I try to not do that now. That dude was always afraid. I know there are people like that dude out there. That’s who I’m writing to. The 22-year-old version of myself. I’m telling that guy he doesn’t have to listen to everybody else and he has much more choices than he thinks he has. – AJ

You telling me to stop doing this is like telling me to cut off my left arm. – Berni

Recognize that you have this one life and things start to take care of themselves when you realize that. – AJ

I would have been “that guy” for the rest of my life. It’s a terrifying feeling having your life scripted and you don’t like the script. – AJ

It’s not about making the big leap sometimes. It’s about taking the baby steps towards something closer. – Phil

Each of us are living our own narrative. I can’t possibly give blanket advice. It’s ludicrous. – AJ

If you have to continue in your job because you have a family, you’ve got to pay those bills and want to take care of that, then the evening hours after work between 6 to 12 are absolutely essential for you to plan what to do next. Those hours are equivalent to The French Revolution being planned in Parisian bistros at midnight after people were getting off of work. I think the “what to do next” doesn’t have to generate revenue. – AJ

AJ Recommends:

The Good Misfit Project is an experiment in social and measurable philanthropy. In June 2013, 30 misfits will hold individual fund raisers in their communities to raise a total of $15,000 to build a windmill in Gambella for an entire village to complete its five-year journey towards sustainability.

To get involved, donate, or learn more, go to GoodMisfit.com.

Find AJ:

AJ is currently traveling around the entire world in 1,080 days and writes about his journey at the Pursuit of Everything.

Find AJ at @ajleon over on the Twitters.